Take a Tumble!

I don't know whether to keep this blog or stick with my new found love for tumblr.... If you want to follow me on there, which I update quite often it's um... damn... hold on...

VOILA!

http://selfantagonist.tumblr.com/

Yeah, check me out! I enjoy it more than blogger because it suits my ADD...However I haven't figured

Anywho, I'm sorry I haven't posted on here but I'm trying to set my adult life up folks.

Work+Place for the pup and I to live are slowly but surely coming together as one. I keep changing my mind about being on the Eastcoast, but I don't know if jobs do a transfer thing before you even start.

I've entered the world of making choices.

No Time to Post

That is...no time for a real post.

Looking for a place to live, trying to sleep, significant other semi-drama, family-semi drama, refusal to take iron vitamins so my anemia is making me it's bitch...

I'll be back eventually folks.

Why Don't You Love Me?

So I shall not give an official post until I either do or do not get the job... I find out later this week so I shall keep you posted. Until then, check out this video...a video from Beyonce that I approve. It's different and has some substance...so enjoy

"Why Don't You Love Me" - Beyoncé from Beyoncé on Vimeo.

In Recent News

Okay, this one is going to be quick...like most of my recent posts... anywho.

Got my hair relaxed, and new bangs cut...fly

Job interview tomorrow...doing research on the place of work this evening...not nervous...not excited...don't know how to feel

I'm in a relationship with The Sir again... that story is still developing.

If I do get said job... I shall be looking for apartments in the area.

You Deserve a Break

Seems to be a pattern in my blog... I give you something to relax...enjoy this. Reminded me of the festival at school yesterday. Clicky that linky

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Au_8GMUxVs&feature=player_embedded

So...

One of my greatest childhood friends went canoeing with another great friend and there was an accident. One tried to save the other, but there was a current and it took him away. The body was found and he is deceased.

I wish death would take a vacation...

leave me alone

Day 2 of Hell on Earth

I actually called my doc and apparently I'm clean internally... I was wondering because my urine was clear...straight up clear and my bowel movements from the salt water flush have been done quickly. Apparently I don't need to detox...just eat healthier..

I was beyond pumped to hear that news.


Food and I should never part...

Lemon Detox Diet Day 1

Okay, so I've officially started the Master Cleanse.. Before I can even begin to drink that lemonade concotion i just made, I have to do the salt water flush. I'm drinking it right now: 2 teaspoons of uniodized sea salt and a quart of warm water.

Directions say to stay close to the restroom afterwards and well I have nothing else to do today... Why am I doing this to my body?

I shall return to my old athletic self when I'm done, but first I want to clean out my system and start with a fresh body...not with this old baggage I've acquired. I'm perfectly fine with my weight... I'm not overweight so I'm good. I simply want to go down in inches more than pounds. I don't know if I want to go back to a size 6 but I'd be fine at a seven or eight. Also, my chin is acquiring a siamese twin... I do not approve

While I type this, I can feel the trouble brewing...

I have a little under 16 ounces left to drink... it tastes awful.
Weirdly enough I'm starting at 2:20pm so I will have to do the 24 hour cycle as so, or I may skip this flush thing tomorrow and do it again in the morning following
but I'll keep you guys posted...

Reboot

Today my friend's mother passed away. She stated it this morning on facebook. I'm not sure how to handle a situation like that when the person isn't physically close to me. I'm emotionally stunted. I am the Meredith Grey of the real world...simply no emotional connection especially when it comes to death. However, I AM a listener. Anyone that knows me knows I'm an excellent listener. I speak better when I write or type so I sent her a text expressing my condolences but if she ever wants to just vent, I will totally listen. Sometimes you just need someone who isn't going to say anything, just listen...and I've always been that person.

Ironically this post was originally going to be about the movie Death at a Funeral, but right now it's simply not appropriate. Have a good day folks.

Pepperoni Mushroom Pizza

For my entire life pizza was meant to be eaten one way:
With pepperoni...nothing more or less as a topping.

I still believe that to an extent, but I've allowed mushrooms to enter my life and I finally had one of these

and it wasn't really THAT bad. Will it mean I will convert completely to this? Absolutely not. Whenever I eat at my first love, Pizza Hut... I shall stick to my pepperoni only plan... when I am in some snazzy place where the only thing that sounds appetizing on their menu is pizza, I'll get half pepperoni, half pepperoni & mushroom. It's lovely... what really got me on the shrooms was the outing I had with Phil & her family for the official birthday dinner; I ordered Shrimp Portofino

Friggin great, right? Yeah will I sucked it up and ate the shrooms in it and it tastes pretty damn good. I tried the shrooms on pizza after attending an open mic night for a poetry jam session.

That is all for now folks, stay tuned as I take on the Master Cleanse soon... that lemon juice diet thing. I was going to start yesterday but I'm finding a hard time finding a store that sells grade B maple syrup...so... yeah. Alright folks.

Jay-Z, Devil Worshipping, Gaga, Blah Blah, Rihanna, Satan & The Gang Edition

It annoys me when people discuss that "illuminati" business with celebrities. Since people haven't noticed this is America. Hypothetically if they are all doing so, they have the right to. Isn't that one of those freedoms in the bill of rights? If not, which is more than likely not...all you have to do is stop listening to it. Take this into consideration....Devil worshipping is done in many ways because all sin is of Satan. Pimping is devil worshipping. Fornication is devil worshipping. Murder is devil worshipping. Addiction to money is devil worshipping. Lying is devil worshipping. Robbing is devil worshipping. Adultery is devil worshipping.

You have had to fall into one of those categories. And now now children there's no double standard when it comes to religion. So STFU

That is all.

I Don't Take My Writing Seriously

This is terrible... I know I should but when I write a piece of crap 30 minutes before a deadline and it pretty much murders any of the competition, I lose interest in striving for the best. This needs to stop. Sigh...

Probate Last Night

Here are two photos... a rather short post but, just to give you[read: Yoko] a chance to see what they are like since she's never seen one for some reason...

You Deserve a Break

And I'm gonna give it to you...enjoy

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

I Wanna See If This Actually Works

RULES:
1. Put Your iTunes/iPod, Windows Media Player (etc…) on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button, and the title of that song is your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS
4. Put any comments in [brackets] after the song name


Are you male or female?
The Way You Make Me Feel- Michael Jackson

Describe yourself!
Turn Off The Lights-Teddy Pendergrass

What do people feel when they’re around you?
U and Ur Hand-Pink [Sadly, this is true... I love my hand...]

Describe your current relationship.
Coachella 3- Travis Barker & DJ AM

Where would you like to be now?
Theme From Jaws....[Shark infested waters is where I want to be?]

How do you feel about love?
My Love-Jill Scott

What’s your life like?
I've Got To See You Again-Norah Jones

What would you wish for if you had only one wish?
Saving All My love For You- Whitney Houston

Say something wise.
Waiting on The World To Change-John Mayer

If someone says “Is this okay?” You say,
I Can't Stop Loving You-Michael Jackson

How would you describe yourself?
Cherish-Kool and the Gang

What do you look for in a guy/girl?
Close The Door-Teddy Pendergrass[This thing is making me sound like a nympho]

How do you feel today?
There Is-Boxcar Racer

What is your life’s purpose?
Time Warp-Rocky Horror Picture Show

What is your motto?
Phonte Speaks-Little Brother

What do your friends think of you?
California Dreaming-Mamas and the Papas

What do you think of your parents?
Bout To Be Some-Tanya Morgan

What do you think about very often?
Paralyzer-Finger Eleven

What is 2 + 2?
Fiesta-R. Kelly ft. Jay-Z

What do you think of your best friend?
The Leak Freestyle...some mixtape

What do you think of the person you like?
Trap Star-Young Jeezy

What is your life story?
Bad Day-Daniel Powter

What do you want to be when you grow up?
Theme of Nightmare On Elm Street....Bahahahaha

What do you think of when you see the person you like?
Down With The Sickness-Disturbed

What will you dance to at your wedding?
Darkside Of The Moon[complete album on one track]-Pink Floyd (That's true! I want to dance to Us and Them)

What will they play at your funeral?
Silent Night-Temptations

What is your hobby/​​interest?
Death Egg Zone Act 2- Sonic & Knuckles

What is your biggest fear?
Runaway-Janet Jackson

What is your biggest secret?
Prescription-Wale

What do you think of your friends?
Don't Get Around Much Anymore-Louis Armstrong & Duke Ellington

Sooo, I guess I like love and stuff....

I Don't Know How To Feel About This

That's Life

When I first started college my major was Philosophy/Pre-Law. It’s a major parents generally shed a tear of joy for because that means they get to rub it in people’s faces. The masses? When they here it they give the “Oooh,” you know the oh…the “My kid’s just a humanities major oh.” So my first semester, I took some gen eds and one philosophy class. It was boring. Beyond the big bank to be made, there was the family aspect. I was going to be a divorce attorney. Lawyers generally spend hours beyond hours on cases; they are generally on call. My main priority of the future is to be an awesome mom. “On call” can’t work. I gave up my top three dream jobs for this reason: Neurosurgeon, Marine Biologist, and Architect.
Eventually my major was history, because I love American History. It’s apart of me, my kids will bleed American knowledge just as much if not more than I do. They will have no choice. Ha. Anyway, I eventually got lazy when it came to school and decided to take the easy way out. I became an English major. In being an English major, I’d write, every English class ever I’d take, I’d accept nothing less than an A…or A-…whichever is the lowest. If anyone said it best, it was Hank Hill, “Bobby, you got an F in English…you speak English Bobby.” I don’t know why but that quote is one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard and well, I love it.
Career wise? I’d always have teaching to fall back on. Teaching is awesome. I dig kids, and my resume is full of kid stuff so, it’s bound to happen I suppose.
*Sidenote, I’m flipping the channels while I type this and they showed Bruce Jenner when he was young, boy that’s a sexy man. Haha. Anyway
No matter what I end up doing, my family will be first. Something funny, I’m currently single so I’m not even thinking about incubating a human being for 9 months right now. The father and I will eventually meet up, and figure out we can put up with each other for the rest of our lives…then we’ll tie the knot and start the circle of life. Idealistically my first born will be born sometime in 2013. Idealistically I will be married sometime before then. 2012? I guess…because 2011 is next year and that may be a tad too soon, but I dunno, things like that you can’t plan.
This is all coming up because I’ve reached the home stretch. I will be graduating from high maintenance spoiled kid university and I’m somewhat excited. We have two graduations so that’s weird. I’m deciding where to live after grad, if I do stay in the states, I’ve considered working abroad. I don’t know. If I do, there’s only one country I’m set on, so if not there, then here in the U S of A. I’ve already picked a city. The thought of all of this is nerve racking so I’m already giving myself a six month break after grad for the sake of my sanity.

Mike's Hard Lemonade

They just found a new devout customer. I will add a Mike's Hard Lemonade section to my budget. $7.99 at Wegman's. Tonight I'm making chicken and waffles for dinner after seeing this Bistro in DC called Marvin's? I think I dunno. Either way I'm also making chocolate filled cookies and watching Desperate Housewives whilst doing a load of hw. It's going to be a long night folks... Have a good day.

That Heaux Don't Have Green Eyes

Colored contacts... I hate colored contacts. People who wear them upset me. Why? Because they think they look attractive, but the truth? They look like they just got bit by a vampire and they're in the midst of a transition. So the ex and I were talking about his girlfriend. Not the recent ex but a previous ex.. anyway he shows me some fb photos and I ask if the green pupil is genetic, he says yes. They don't match her skin tone...and now there are some people out there who can't help it, they were born with dark skin and night vision goggle eyes but that doesn't make them any less inappropriate looking.

Yeah, I said it.

Anyway I go through a few more of her photos and sure enough her eyes are the typical dark brown.

BETCH GAHT AH MAH FACE!

It's a Beautiful Day

I just saw my humans and it was a lovely outing. It included swings, a sliding board, a creepy cable man driving pass the house twice to stare at me... oh Suburbia. Take a break, enjoy this...

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

I'm Still Awake

It's 4:29am and I'm still awake. I'm doing school work for later today. All I have left is a presentation for the class I have to teach today and a reading response for my poetry class but after that I am done. I'm running on E as of right now; not fumes yet but E. I'll refuel from noon-2:40, so that should put my body at a quarter of a tank but I will have the biggest tude, I'm talking a tude like America had when Japan attacked Pearl Harbor. This isn't good since I have my longest class tomorrow and I have to work in groups with a woman I can't stand. If she were a baby I'd be the dingo that ate her.

It's that bad.

Anyway I told myself that if I made it to 5:00, I'd cook bacon, eggs, and fried potatoes. I'm almost done so I may get some sleep. My grandmother is going to call me at 8:15am to wake me up for my 9:00am class that I may not attend for the sake of sleep. I didn't go Monday which means next week I shall begin to attend EVERY class regularly. Right now I'm in an airport in Mexico so I can't make it because I don't land back here until Noon.

...That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

That's Heavy

The Sports Manger showed me this.
So this level was so controversial in the game, you have the option to skip it. It was taken out of the game in some countries. Modern Warfare 2 is just ridiculously great none the less. Behold the realism:

Where Have I Been?

Spring break, parentals wanted me to be stress free so I was macless, which may hurt me academically but hey blame my parentals. It was painful at first, but not being in contact with the world was great. I'm going to watch my humans tonight. I've missed them, haven't seen them since early February. Four hours of fun and screaming babies. I'm pumped...

In other news my grandmother was a hooker for a church play...irony right?,

Anyway I have bigger things to deal with. I may get a visit tomorrow by a certain person and if I do good things will happen but bad things will be the outcome. I really don't need this stress right now but I'm going to call my guru who knows us mutually and get his take on the thing. Look for a good or bad story tomorrow night...

This Too Shall Pass

Before my mini nap before this birthday dinner[friend not mine], I shall leave you with this. I love how they always pay close attention to everything. From the ending I can safely guess they had more than one take for this, which means someone had to keep setting all that stuff up; if it were me, I'd be pissed but pleased with the outcome none the less. Enjoy folks

I Am...

an asshole. Many people may see it as a bad thing, but I don't. Why? Because it is who I am. I don't mind being an asshole because I was bred by assholes from two of the largest asshole states. Everyone in my family's an asshole, and I? Believe or not I am the nice one, the soft one. I am the friendly asshole of my entire family.

My friends? They're assholes. They all know they're assholes, and we all agreed the reason we're friends is because we're assholes therefore compatible with one another. We can live with each others' attitudes and not really get offended because we dish...we can take every form of dishing so it's like peace through war if that makes sense. I've never had a friend that wasn't an asshole. I've had some that thought they weren't but when you're in a field of wolves, your wolf starts to come out...unless you get eaten.

::looks around::

...Yeeeeah, so I don't know. I just thought I'd share the fact that as an asshole you're more aware of your self, and once you're aware of self, it's easier to reach Nirvana.

I listened to Robo Tussin by Flying Lotus & Lil Wayne and Handlebars by Flobots while I posted this... quite fitting huh?

I'm Trying To Be Consistent

I just moved into the new apartment. I'm all moved out of the old one...now all I really have to do here is get a few more things out of my car, everything else is going home. I love my new room; I moved the furniture around because it was a tad ridiculous and crunched...I have turned crunched into cozy. I've decided to slowly go back to cooking my own meals as opposed to eating campus food all the time. My first meal shall be fried turkey wings, macaroni & cheese, and peanut butter brownies for dessert. It will be great... my only problem is that I cook in large portions...so I may find someone to cook for or just eat hella left overs...who knows. I've been up since 6:30 so I'm going to take a nap(yes it's 7:55pm). Later folks

I Should Be Packing

First I must share with you the greatness that is Adult Swim. One reason to it is for the music between shows... Flying Lotus produced my favorite... enjoy.

I'm Moving...

into a new apartment... Crazy right? Today after I go to the mall will be spent packing and what not to move to the other side of the field... I snuck into the building and checked out the girls who live there; they seem to be pretty laid back. I'd had a few glass of wine so besides being too warm to tell what they kept their thermostat on, I didn't really see anything wrong with the room. Tonight we're going to 70s skate night, and I'm going as "Treeflower." Can't wait to see how this goes.

Mmm My Favorite: Sex Edition

The following is my favorite Desperate Housewives quote ever...from my favorite original desperate housewife, Bree...enjoy.

I love sex. I love everything about it: the sensations, the smells. I especially love the feel of a man. All that muscle and sinew pressed against my body. And then when you add friction. MMMmmmm. The tactile sensation of running my tongue over a man's nipple ever so gently. And then there's the act itself; two bodies becoming one in that final eruption of pleasure. To be honest, the only thing I don't like about sex is the scrotum. I mean obviously it has its practical applications but I'm just not a fan.

Rhinoceritis

Well, I have the rhinovirus. I feel I got it from a friend, but it's whatever. All I need is a little Alka Seltzer Plus and balloons... I'll be fine. I hope. I've already began Lysol-ing down the apartment just so my roommates won't get sick. I'm nice like that not really so what can I say? Sigh, here's to a long night.

I Don't Have Followers

I had followers, but now I do not. I recently deleted my old blog to start this new one. Little did I know that even by keeping the same account, I lost my followers. So what do I do? Do I go to each individual blog and say, "Hey, follow me again."

This is difficult since many of them are strangers, I would come off as a creeper. Which also means while I write this, I am writing to myself since my followers aren't reading it...or are they?

Mon Ami

This is my friend... her enthusiasm for photography has inspired me to pick back up my hobby of photography. Looking at canon rebels and some nikons...

iWant

I need this in my life. I am putting money aside just for it. It shall be my gift to myself for 2010, unless of course one of you want to get it for me...first I'll ask random family members for one for graduation, THEN if they say hellno I shall get it myself. Yes, some kids want a trip to Europe or a car... I want the ultimate all in one computer... I get a hella discount at my computer store so I may just get it myself. We'll see.

Mmm My Favorite

This is by far my favorite short film. My friend showed it to me a couple of weeks ago and I finally found it to place here. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Skhizein (Jérémy Clapin,2008) from Bertie on Vimeo.

I Can Tell That We Are Gonna Be Friends

So I'm thinking about moving into my own apartment during the summer. After I'm officially, officially done with school. However I'm cheap therefore I'm thinking about moving in with someone via craigslist. Crazy right, one I don't know if the parental units will go for it...too bad I'm of age. Anyway I don't want to meet these guys...

Perhaps one of my comrades will want to do the roommate thing...I'm not really trying to stay in this area soo... I dunno.

It's a thought in progress.

2nd Chances Are As Plausible as Sex After Marriage[For You]

I went to this one place I hadn't been since freshman year because this year they got rid of my five cheese melt with bacon. Soo...somehow I'm conned in there by my own will and I order the new inferior three cheese melt, in which I had to pay an extra 2 bucks to add bacon. Total of five American rupees[dollars, but rupees sounds more interesting]. Now I ordered this bullshit sandwich with bacon but ABSOLUTELY NO tomato or lettuce. I emphasized the addition of a vegetable on a grilled cheese sandwich would bring harm the the cashier's career...we had an understanding. I go to pick up my order, and open my sandwich immediately because I had to see which sandwich was mine and which was my friend's I have trust issues with public food service.

No lettuce, lovely, three pieces of un-melted cheese...I can deal due to the toasted buttered bread...FOUR TOMATOES. I remain calm instead of embracing my negro stereotype and calmly walk up to the lady my sandwich...it starts:

Me: Um, I said no tomato.
Lady SW Maker: [Blank stare]
Me: Yeah, so I said no tomato. There's tomatoes, plural, on my sandwich.
Lady: Oh, yeah I see.
Me: I can't eat this, I'm allergic.[Lying like hell, but they generally care more]
Lady: Oh...I'm so sorry[takes back sandwich]

wait for it....

She takes my sandwich, takes the tomatoes off, wraps my sandwich back up, and hands it to me with a smile like this is totally fine.

.... o_O
...obviously I'm being punk'd

Lady:[waiting for me to take sandwich]
Me: [Waiting for her to realize April Fools' Day only counts on the 1st.]
Lady: Here you go
Me: [wishing I really were allergic so I could eat it and sue the university] No I don't
Lady:[gives sad, confused old lady face]
Me: Fine, I'll just go eat this and die now. It better be good since it's closing my throat.
Lady:[enter tear sequence]
Me: No it's fine...you cry, you'll be over this. I'm just going to die of tomato essence. Thanks for the sweet obituary.

She seriously thought taking off wet tomatoes made it all better. I left the sandwich on the table, went to the Chinese restaurant down next door, ordered spicy teriyaki chicken, came back in their restaurant, and proceeded to eat it while staring at their SW in disgust.

Entire cooking staff: Stare at me in disbelief
My friends: Weak
Me: Left one more time to get sweet tea from the convenience store beside the Chinese rest.
My friends: Weak again
SW: Given to my friend who said it was quite delicious after refrigerated...

Cold grilled cheese?

"Alas I Am A Woman Hopeless, Friendless."- Shakespeare

Well a great question was asked from NC over at this young man's blog he asked, "...why is it when you stop talking with/stop dating/stop fucking with a chick, she does something with the next dude in like a week, that you'd been asking her since you've known her?"

Of course I commented since I enjoy sharing the secrets of life to a man when he asks the right question...this was my response, and since I have posted in a few days, it will suffice as my post.

Women are unintentional, stubborn hypocrites and extremely bi-polar. Don't let a female tell you that's not true about her, because that's just the denial from the unintentional hypocrisy. Allow me to break it down: Unintentional hypocrisy, she may say she won't or act like she doesn't want to...then when she ends up doing it damn it her curiosity got the best of her... or feared if she didn't give it up it was going to be taken, but most don't admit to that. Either way she really didn't want to, which is why she may not with the first guy, but once again curiosity killed the cat[pun intended] and we must remember satisfaction brought him back [so she didn't "mean" to be a hypocrite.

She's stubborn because she will more than likely not have a logical/reasonable answer as to why she gave guy #1 crap about it but literally jumped onto guy #2, but in her eyes she's right in her decision[she's wrong as hell].

Bi-polarity in a female, self explanatory.

Have a lovely day.

D

So I had an interesting dream. Lion free this time. There was a Greek flash, but nothing significant..but picture a bright, sunny, cliche day for a picnic. A friend and I are at one of my friend from home's houses...the main family house actually...Picture a large four-story brick home on an 126acre estate...poppy flowers and whatnot...Yeah...so he was having a Sunday brunch gathering...

**sidenote, for some reason we are all four years older than what we are now.

Anywho, in order to get to the back area, there's a button you press behind a picture, above the fireplace and then giant stained glass windows open...not a door[since you don't know where he lives it's totally fine I give this information away]...we're all sundressed/kentucky derby hatted up enjoying the meal and music when

ALL OF A SUDDEN

Denzel Washington approaches me. *side eye* Yeah, weird right? Well, I met him when I was really little so I was talking to him like it was nothing. He didn't remember me at first, but we caught up on life...he asked me a lot about mine and well...it was good conversation. However, the way he kept staring into my eyes...it was exactly how someone I know did and absolutely irresistible.

Damn It!

Anywho, we're pretty much engulfed in each other's attention and before you know it, we're getting a tad too close. It was so romantic, it actually flashed sequence like a movie. Anywho, we come back outside to the brunch and are immediately met with a flock of haterade consumers side eyes...If you didn't know, he is married with four kids...

but in another dream I actually Angelina Jolie'd that nonsense and he left her, married me...and I bore him quadruplets. I might actually share that in greater detail if I can't think of something to blog about if I can remember it.

Yeah, well... immediately cower and look at him with my sad "you know this is wrong" look and he returns the look with a "You don't care what others think...you never have, what's wrong" heartbroken stare...I felt like an asshole on both sides of the fence. It's a weekend event so I lay low the rest of the day...occasionally sharing a look of regret with D...haha I call him D.

The next day...Well my friends [host party and other friend] and I are back in the parlor hanging out, joking and talking about it and they both agree with him...since when did I care about moral? Clearly we were meant to be together and I needed to find him and stop being foolish. We have to go back outside including button pressing and I rush out there...the crowd is larger than yesterday and I'm searching...but he's gone...

it was depressing...

my alarm vibrated and I was so pissed I couldn't find him...so I wrote this.

I do believe Denzel was a metaphor for someone else....

damn you REM cycle.

My Life's Theme...

I will now attempt because I'm not paying attention in this class I'm in to make these potential life themes.

Professional Student: This is my last resort, and I would honestly never do it to myself but hell it needs to be a possibility. I do not want to be in college forever, that's just ridiculous.

Soccer mom: I pray to Bob that my kids won't want to play soccer. As much as I avoided attending games in high school, I'd like to not have to go and actually be interested... that's cruel and unusual. So we can change "Soccer" mom to "basketball" mom or some other indoor masculine if they're male contact sport... would I be stay at home or work my hindpart off...hehe, hindpart

Stay at Home mom: This one, I'm not anxious about....but totally prepared. I'm convinced I'm the 3rd best home-cooking chef in the world[next to my dad and his mom]...many people who've eaten my food agree. As far as cleaning, when I have to the room is immaculate...if I don't have to, I'll hire someone. I've always been somewhat of an oxymoron a traveling homebody...so I don't know if I'd necessarily be at home all of the time...I think I've watched Stepford Wives enough to grasp the concept of Home Executive Engineer...Antonio Banderas once said, "She needs to be honest, loyal, and young enough to bare children." So, Conceive, Cook, Sex, Hire Cleaning, Sex, Watch kids, Sex...hmm, is that one really that bad...We got this ladies


Working Wife & Mother, College Professor Edition: this is my actual aspiration, but I don't know if I want to profess at a community college or a 4 year university, if the latter, I'd probably only do entry level. I signed a contract with myself that I'd not acquire a degree above a Masters. I don't need Dr. infront of my name...and I know I'd be too lazy to write a dissertation. Even with my job, I'd manage my family...I feel like moms are family managers, I don't mean in a sense of property, just in a mean of keeping everything sane and organized for the family. Since manage sounds weird, I will say I would still devote a large amount of time to my family. And yay for nastytime with whoever my husband will be. And well, if something happens and I don't get my Masters...I'll teach high school or something...or find some career completely unrelated to my major...perhaps I'll work in a museum forever...

Military Wife: If for some reason I end up marrying some guy in the military, we will have to move around a lot I believe...and with my career choice it won't be that hard to find a job in our new city. I suppose I'm ready for that type of lifestyle...like most military mothers I'd try to make my kids's childhood as normal as possible. I have many cousins who are military brats and a few people I know...and well let's just say their concept of friendship is...different. They all also have some sort of attention seeking issue...I dunno... In the event my husband was deployed...well thats one aspect I can tell you I have no idea how I'd handle it. At this point I know I'd say something like, "Don't die, don't get so lonely you start giving or taking it in the ass nor sleeping with some random that didn't bare your children...Try not to get amputated our children are assholes like us and will probably make fun of you. I love you so much."

That's all I've got for now...but my current theme is College Student Stalling to Enter The Real World By Adding on A Minor> hey hey hey, I'm graduating a year early...sue me. I'm doing that whole self discovery thing, breaking the rules, ...well I've kind of always been a wild child...living life on the edge and whatnot ...oh yeah

P.S. I just noticed if you click the arrow on this blog that says "Sidebar" a bunch of other stuff I have shows up... if you didn't try it already...
Kudos for me for having no spelling errors in this entire entry.

I Heard This Today

I couldn't agree more. Ed Lover was talking about Nick Cannon's "rap" battle with Eminem on an old youtube video and this is what he said,

"You're my man, but I'm not gonna sit em up and lie to you. You can't f*ck with Eminem. You can't f*ck with him. I don't give a f*ck if Jay-Z, OJ the Juice Man, Gucci Mane, Young Jeezy, and TI write your lyrics... You can't f*ck with Eminem."

My New Favorite Commercial

Now, for the longest time my favorite commercials were the following three super bowl commercials:

Guy makes dinner for girlfriend, knocks out cat, spills tomato sauce on cat, girlfriend walks in sees guy with knife and supposed dead cat. GREAT

Dad controls Justin Timberlake's body with...what was it, Pepsi? It was something ridiculous... Something about seeing JT brutally tortured and scream like a little girl when he gets the nutcracker treatment on the mailbox makes my day a lot better.

22 Horses and a few Zebras are running around in a field; two southern guys are watching and one says, "That referee is an ass." The other guy says, "Actually, I think it's a Zebra."

Yeah... that's my sense of humor in a nutshell. ::Kanye Shrug::

Well I found this nifty new favorite that trumps all the old ones over at Yamara Taylor's blog impatientchick.com and allow me to say this is my new favorite...



This is what all commercials should be like...Simple is funny. "Look down, back up; where are you?" I thought it was beyond hilarious from the scene rising and new clothes falling on him. Hilarious. "The TICKETS ARE NOW DIAMONDS!" I'm going to somehow utilize that in most of my every day life... perhaps, "french fries are NOW DIAMONDS." Or just say, "The TICKETS ARE NOW DIAMONDS," and have everyone look at me clueless.

That's the story of my life in a nutshell...

Well...

I suppose I shall attempt to be more consistent with this one. The old one had too much baggage... time to start fresh.